Yeah, that too...

Dear Driver Behind Me,

I too have had my days and have accumulated my fair share of traffic and speeding tickets.  It was obvious you were in a hurry.  The evidence was there, your cell phone in one hand as you applied eye makeup with the other, all the while balancing the steering wheel with your wrist.  I find it odd you were coordinated enough to still honk the horn not only once but twice without dropping anything in your lap.  You even managed not to get eye liner on your temple when you tilted your head in a physical display of confusion, sort of like my Boxer when I talk to her, and mouth the words, "What? Are you stupid?"  I apologise, I didn't want to risk getting a ticket for turning illegally or getting in a wreck and I know this was selfish of me.

Today was the third time I have been traveling south on Davis Highway and at the intersection of Brent Lane, had the pleasure of being the first at the light in the right lane.  Although you were not the one flipping me off or yelling out the window like the previous two times, your horn spoke louder than words.  By the way, was that listed as a standard item on the sticker or was it an accessory to the large SUV that you are not even remotely qualified to drive?

Yes, the first two times I tried to educate the person behind me by pointing up at the sign that reads, "No Right Turn On Red", but this time, I chose to just turn up my radio and listen to Marketplace Morning Report with Kai Ryssdal, who by the way, has the sexiest voice on radio.  I know, it made you even madder that I was being so aloof but it was not intentional.  Well, not entirely.

As the light turned green and you frantically whizzed by me and (wait, wait, here it comes) shot me the bird, I noticed something very ironic; your bumper stickers.  First, your "I love my church, Olive", and second, "W, Still the President".  I just reached for my BooKoo and ignored your glaring.  After all, my mother once told me it was a sin to argue with idiots because in her mind, they just didn't know better.

Sincerely,